Thursday, March 31, 2016

Entire Shopping Mall Quietly Dreading Whatever Empty Stage Set Up For http://tinyurl.com/z8yxts9

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<p>ROCHESTER, NYâ€"Rushing to
finish their errands and leave the premises as
quickly as possible, every patron at the Eastview
Mall reported Thursday that they were quietly
dreading whatever has been planned for the empty
stage erected near the south entrance of the
shopping center. “Oh, Christ, why the hell do
they need three microphones?” said shopper Dalia
Adams, 38, who nervously added that she had
spotted a small child in a sequined top hat
lurking near the stage. “I don’t even want to
know what they plan to do with that huge PA
system. And it looks like there’s a lot of room
up there for peopleâ€"maybe a bunch of peopleâ€"to
dance around. If it’s some kind of swing dancing
thing, we gotta get out of here right now.” At
press time, nearly 2,000 shoppers simultaneously
cursed under their breath and headed for ...</p>


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http://www.theonion.com/article/entire-shopping-mall-quietly-dreading-whatever-emp-52669?utm_medium=RSS&amp;utm_campaign=feeds

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