Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Doomsday Clock Pushed To One Minute To Midnight After Arby’s Threatens Launch Of 3-Cheese Jalapeño Beef ’N Bacon Melt http://tinyurl.com/hq4wvrq

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<p>CHICAGOâ€"Reacting to the
fast-food chain’s increasingly alarming
marketing language Tuesday, the Science and
Security Board of the <i>Bulletin Of The Atomic
Scientists</i> set the global Doomsday Clock to
11:59 p.m. following Arby’s threats to launch a
3-Cheese Jalapeño Beef ’N Bacon Melt. “As
Arby’s’ claims of possessing an experimental
new specialty sandwich have become more and more
credible, we have concluded that the world is
closer than it’s ever been to a cataclysmic
event that could destroy the lives of millions,”
said the board’s executive director, Rachel
Bronson, reiterating that Arby’s had already
performed tests and received positive reactions
from focus groups, many of whom said it was
“very likely” they would try the sandwich in
the future. “Top government officials need to
heed the realities of the current landscape and
recognize that we are on the cusp of seeing a
...</p>


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http://www.theonion.com/article/doomsday-clock-pushed-one-minute-midnight-after-ar-53011?utm_medium=RSS&amp;utm_campaign=feeds

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