Friday, April 14, 2017

Ulta Releases Line Of Shitty Hair Ties To Give Cheap-Ass Friend Who’s Always Borrowing Them

<p>BOLINGBROOK, ILâ€"Touting them
as essentials that women should have handy at all
times, Ulta Beauty released a new line of shitty
hair ties Friday designed specifically to be given
to cheap-ass friends who always ask to borrow
them. “Our new Freeloader Elastics line allows
women to give the moochers in their life the
bargain-basement accessory they deserve,” said
Ulta Beauty CEO Mary Dillon, adding that each
package contains 25 stringy, overstretched hair
ties in a variety of revolting colors that are
perfectly acceptable to hand out to people who
have no intention of returning them. “These are
must-haves for the woman who doesn’t want to
give her good elastics to her friend who, yet
again, forgot to bring a hair tie of her own to
the gym. Next time your friend asks to borrow an
elastic that you know you’ll never see again,
give them something only ...</p>

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