Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Every American Should Be Extremely Unsettled By The Initiatives Trump’s Cabinet Is Pursuing

<p><i>The documents referred to in
this editorial are part of a trove of classified
files provided to </i>The Onion<i> by an anonymous
whistleblower in the White House. All of these
documents can be found <a
target="_blank">here</a>.</i></p><p>As soon as
Donald Trump won the presidency last November, it
became clear to every editor, journalist, and
indentured Laotian typesetter at <i>The Onion</i>
that we would soon be contending with an
unorthodox administration. Now, as our employees
ceaselessly analyze a vast trove of classified
White House documents on ocean barges floating
outside the jurisdiction of the Fair Labor
Standards Act, we are finding ample evidence that
the path being pursued by this president and his
cabinet is, as anticipated, startlingly unlike any
other in history. In fact, every American should
cower in fear at what we have
uncovered.</p><p>While it is evident to even a
casual political observer that the Trump
administration is determined ...</p>

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