What kind of environment am I creating?

I woke up about 20 minutes ago, my mind focused on work. I spent a large majority of the day working on trying to figure out what my 'JOB' is, how my responsibilities relate to my choices and decisions, and while I feel good about the work I created, I also feel upset with myself for devoting the entire day to the activity when there are other things I could have been working on.

More important things? - I'm not sure.

Possibly I have been procrastinating - or at least part of me *thinks* I might be if I am being completely honest with myself. One thing that is abundantly clear, is that it is difficult for me to concentrate on what I am 'supposed' to prioritize, when  I wasn't quite sure what I wanted to say about my job responsibility (the other important task I 'wanted' to do)

A couple of days ago,  I happened to be listening to a Ziglar podcast, and Tom Ziglar offered this reflective question

How do I create an environment that let's others be the 'best version of themselves', the person they were intended to be.

This hit me as a powerful statement that differs greatly from asking, how can I be the best version of myself. Yes, I do want to be the 'best version of myself', but am I creating an environment around me that allows others to be the best version of themselves?

For example, I can speak and write in very 'verbose ways'. I do this with the intention of being as clear as possible in my message, it is also because of a fear that if I leave out important details my message may get mis-communicated, others may think and believe the 'wrong' thing, not the message I intended to communicate.

On the opposite side I expect others to speak to me in similar verbose ways. Short one sentence answers seem un-necessarily harsh and confusing, causing me to ask multiple back and forth questions, generating comfortableness for me, (and I assume for the other side)

But not everyone is like me; some people work at their best in shorter, less verbose communication, a sort of 'get to the point' methodology. They can be quite frustrated by long, drawn out explanations, and would prefer just a 'yes' or 'no' or one sentence explanation.

The 'best version' of myself is open, and honest, and expresses his ideas with many 'flavor's and colors, but in doing so, those who are different cannot be the best version of themselves in an overly verbose environment.

I suppose it is somewhat like the 'introvert / extrovert' analogy.  If you are an introvert can you be the best version of yourself when thrown into an environment with a bunch of extroverts?

And yet we can control our thoughts, and our choices, we can actively choose to create an environment that allows others to be the best version of themselves, but at the same time we have to face our fears of what will happen when we don't behave in the verbose ways that are comfortable to our own nature.

How do we 'meld' the 2 together so that we can simultaneously create an environment for others without compromising ourselves in the process?

In the end - like everything else, it comes down to the way we choose to see the problem

a) The less verbose person, the person who is accommodated with short sentences, the person who wants you to 'be like them'. Are they the 'mean person'? Are they 'shouting at you' that you are "not good", "not right",that you need to change to make them happy?

b) or Do you see it differently? Are they hurt by something, by some event or past situation that has nothing to do with you, but you shine a light, a bright positive light, and they need help, they want to be part of that light, but they don't know how, they only know how to show the feelings, to direct the feelings toward you, in hopes that you can 'fix it'

People in your life, come asking for you help in at least 2 ways;

1) The 'apologetic' - excuse me sir, can you help me with 'xxx'? - For me these are the easy people to help. They appear kind/considerate and appreciative of whatever help you can offer.

2) The 'mean' - I can't be happy until YOU change your attitude - These people want help too, but they don't express it as such, their anger seems directed straight at you. They are also looking for help but can only express it by showing you how they feel, not expressing it verbally.

My response to #2 is a big challenge, because it can be so overwhelming to handle, and so easy to 'lash back' out to resist the negativity to throw it away, to run away from it. To setup boundaries that prevent me from being 'sucked' in an coerced. These very same behaviors, take me away from being the best version of myself.

It can be very to accept these "types" into my life, and yet the very confidence of positive thinking attracts it, and until I learn to change my own attitude about it, I will be choosing to be stuck in a continuous cycle rather then elevating to be my highest self.