The other morning while doing some 'deep thinking', I imagined someone asking me the question, "Why do some people just not 'get along' with you?
Perhaps - my voice sounds condescending to others? I do not mean it to sound that way, and I do not feel it, but our voice never sounds the same to others as it does in our own head, so I thought maybe that is what is at the 'root' of the problem.
Upon deeper thinking however, I think fundamentally the problem lies in how we tend to jump on certain 'thought trains' and are not willing to jump off regardless of evidence to the contrary.
If I simply think that someone is being condescending to me then everything that he/she says will match that belief and validate my assumption.
Even more interesting that when multiple people get the same 'impression' from what another person 'says' or 'does' it seems to 'validate' the thinking. ie: if 4 people experienced me talking, and 3 of them found it condescending, then it MUST BE TRUE.
Looking back I think this is a problem that has plagued me my whole life. I have a lot of thoughts and ideas that do not seem to match with 'mainstream' thinking. Things that when a lot of people hear me say they think I'm "weird". If 10 other people think I am an A**hole, this is not what makes it true. I believe it is my heart, my actions, and my choices, that determine who I am, not the collective opinions of others.
It has always been difficult for me to have more than one friend 'at a time'. I guess one person when talking to me can push aside / ignore my 'quirkiness', but in groups of 2 or more, where they can each share thoughts within one another on my quirks with others, this somehow 'validates' them and I become the 'odd one out'
But I don't try to change, I don't try to become different then who I am, who I feel inside, I don't see anything 'wrong' with me that needs changing. In fact, I think I stand out as a lesson to society. People talk about multi-cultism, about ending racism, and treating people fairly (if not equally), but in the end I am not sure such a world is even inherent in our nature.
We (humans) seem hell bent on focusing on what makes us different, using ridicule or social pressures to hide ourselves, to only interact and express commonality to those around us.
We buy on emotion, and later justify with 'reasoning', we 'like' posts not necessarily because they reflect our inner selves but because we say others like it too, we have an inner need to be accepted by the groups around us, to conform..and not all of us are 'good' at doing this, not everyone 'wants' to do this.. and these people who are 'different' are considered hard to 'get along with'.
What do you think? - Please leave your ideas in the comments below. Thanks
