Lessons - Sept 15 2019

Do I 'Inject' my opinions into others?

This was suggested to me recently in my work life. That I 'inject' my opinions into others even when others don't want to hear it.

I don't see myself that way, but perhaps, their is some truth to it.  I can at least admit that I may have a tendency to 'prescribe' BEFORE diagnosing

There are 2 sides to every coin. Life contains multiple points of view, and their is not always a clear "one person is right" and the other is wrong. Though I fantasize sometimes that life could me more like that, like it is on TV.

Specifically, this seems to occur when I can more easily relate to one side of an issue then the other. When for example two people appear to be arguing, or when one person is complaining about another person. It is often easier for me to empathize with the person being complained about.

I have a strong belief that we get to choose our responses, that ultimately it is in that ultimate choice of free will that we can choose to live a life that matters. That all our pain, our suffering, and our anger come not from those around us, not from those that "hurt" us, but from how we choose to RESPOND to those events.

Now just because I believe it, doesn't mean I always 'follow it', but worse still, when others are having difficulties I may jump right in with "Well, the solution is EROS - of course!" Just change your responses.

The problem is this may work really well for some people. It will probably work for most people IF AND ONLY IF they first feel listened to, feel heard. That his/her feelings have been validated as real and meaningful.

Worse still jumping in time and time again repeating myself over and over like EROS is some kind of panacea disrespects the feelings of the person having the difficulty, and waters down the meaning of the message so bad, that it may as well be a joke.

Perhaps when this happens, the best response is to STOP using WORDS and switch to ACTIONS. ACTIONS of kindness, caring, compassion and service. ACTIONS which allow healing, and to set the expectation that this repair, the repair of relationships with ACTIONS make take a lot of hard work and a long time, and cannot be solved in 42 minutes like a dramatic TV show.