And it's great to get compliments, and its nice to know that my behavior and attitude is positive, however, what most people fail to understand is that being positive is not a natural part of who I am. In fact, you could say my "inner self" is rather negative, pessimistic, and even down right critical.
I think some people maybe born positive, they may wake up each day positive. Good for them!, but that is not me, from the moment of getting out of bed in the morning, my head is already trying to play games, trying to find ways to look at the world that will get me down, feelings of frustration, sometimes even hopelessness. It can feel like a battle of wits between the 'default' me and the 'intentional me'
I am positive - by INTENTION, by choice, and doing so take a lot of energy and effort. It requires talking back to the inner critical voice inside me, the one that holds me back from trying to be all that I can..and I don't always win, but with constant effort, with techniques like questioning inner voice, meditation and re-framing situations, I can work towards being the best version of myself, while at the same time accepting all of myself for who I am, what I can offer, where my faults lie, and what I can do to continuously improve. If there were some 'magic pill' that just always caused positivity, I think I'd take that...but maybe not because maybe then I wouldn't have gotten to know myself, to understand that my positive attitude is a choice and not luck.
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